another safe shot

Camera: Canon EOS digital Rebel

Exposure time: 1/50 sec

F-stop: F/4.5

ISO: 100

Lens: 22 mm

Location: Eindhoven , Home studio

Photoshop: changed blacks and whites in selective color

( larger image can be seen at www.marinusblog.com )

Story of the day:

Sitting unemployed home for to many months, i get used at doing nothing. Work on my photos, post a photo on my blog, play online games and even look for work. But jobs are rare and i have no clue what i'm gonna do. And it doesn't matter cause its a temporary job anyway. Days go by really quick, after i woke up its dark and diner time in no time. Life feels so empty in this situation and my life is standing still. Its even worse, it feels like going backwards. Its like i'm in hold and listen to stupid telephone music and the song never ends. Never thought that it would had so much impact on my self esteem. The longer i am unemployed the more i think i can't do things. Before i did look at those things positive. I can't do this, but i am who i am. And i was proud on who i was. Even doing labour jobs to pay the bills and safe money for dreams i want to achieve. I still pay bills but there is no money left for dreams. In a time were i need dreams even more than before. After doing labour jobs i became a social worker, worked with addicted and homeless, worked on the street with addicted prostitutes when they were streetwalking and now i sit home, sip coffee and can't find a job. They don't even invite me for interviews cause i didn't finish my bachelor degree. Its back to labour work. i know but it feels so unfair. I worked hard, think i was good in doing what i did. Going back to labour work feels like a punishment, going to jail and who does a job apply to make clothespins? I can't wait till my social security ends cause that will be a financial disaster. Time is ticking and the end is near. I tell myself things gonna be alright, but i know when i say those words they are empty and i don't believe them anymore. Those words lost effect after months under welfare. I know all the social work answers to this, but know were they end.... doing my time making clothespins for a shitty payment that barely pays my bills and still no money left to dream.